If you re like most people, when you saw the title of this article you thought, Oh, no, not another sissified piece about ways to spice up your marriage! Pay heed, though, to the word literally, because what follows are some completely non-metaphorical ways to toss small-scale ordnance into your floundering relationship. (Note: Don t really do any of this stuff. In fact, don t even THINK about doing any of this stuff.)
Step1
Sparklers. Despite what you may have seen on late-night cable movies set in Las Vegas, there are at least a few PG-rated ways to employ these scintillating whatsits. Gals: Plunk one into an enticing chocolate-rum cake, like a candle, or use it as an enticing beacon in a darkened bedroom. Guys: Try impressing the love of your life by juggling three or four at the same time, being sure to clear all pets, children and flammable materials out of the room first.
Step2
Cherry bombs. Everyone knows there s only one use for cherry bombs, and that s to blow up toilets. Since the last thing your teetering romance needs is a big plumbing bill, book a three-day getaway at a small hotel or bed and breakfast (if you feel guilty about it, choose one that s not very well reviewed), then proceed on your mischief-making way. Remember: Nothing beats acting like spoiled 13-year-olds to add some romantic oomph to a pair of dreary, middle-aged lives.
Step3
Roman candles. Don t try this one anywhere near the house. Camp out with your beloved in a nearby field or public park, then set up a circle of these beauties (six or eight should do the trick) in a 100-yard-diameter circle. (Make sure no one else nearby has the same idea, because you don t want the circles to overlap, resulting in a roman candle up the you-know-what.) Do what comes naturally, then, as you bask in the afterglow, set off the display and rub your romantic ardor in the face of the entire county.
Step4
Firecrackers. Sometimes, simplest is best. Here s how it works: Early in the morning, you and your mate each grab a handful of standard-issue firecrackers. In the course of the day, anytime either of you does anything the slightest bit annoying, light one of these suckers up and casually toss it his or her way. He s slurping his coffee too loud? BANG! She s nattering on about her weight? BANG! With any luck, by nightfall, the two of you will be so frazzled that you ll have to arrange some quiet time together to settle your nerves.
Step5
Dynamite. This one is only recommended if your relationship is in an advanced state of decay. On the premise that a fiery disaster will unite two otherwise bickering people in the face of adversity, a big smoking hole in the ground where your country cottage used to be ought to do the trick just fine. Just be careful not to accidentally forget that your significant other is still inside rounding up the cats and looking for the insurance documents.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
How to Get Creative Giving Oral Sex to a Woman
Cunnilingus is among the most intimate sexual experiences two people can enjoy together, says sex therapist Louanne Weston, Ph.D. For some women, it s the source of their most intense orgasms." Explore some of the following techniques it may help you become a better lover.
Step1
Start with the basics. Tell a new lover that you d like to go down on her. Either say something, or kiss her on the way down--her neck, the tops of her breasts, her nipples, her belly, so she gets the idea where you re headed. You might check in saying, I d like to keep going down. It that okay? Move down slowly. Make sure you're in a comfortable position. Lying on the bed on your stomach between the woman s legs might strain your neck. You might slip a pillow under the woman s hips to raise her a bit. Or you might coax her butt to the side of the bed and kneel on the floor to lick her. Don t dive into cunnilingus all at once. Begin slowly--and very gently. Start by nuzzling, kissing, and licking her inner thighs and the area around her vulva. Anticipation of cunnilingus can feel very arousing to women. As you move toward her genitals, begin by licking the fleshy outer lips. Run your tongue up and down them. Nibble them gently with your lips. Next, work your tongue in between the outer lips to caress the smaller, thinner inner lips. Then circle the vaginal opening and perhaps insert your tongue--or a finger or two--lovingly inside her vagina. Approach the ****oris very slowly and gently. Some women enjoy a man s tongue directly on the ****oris. Others find direct ****oral licking too intense, even uncomfortable. They prefer it when the tongue only lightly caresses the ****oris or circles it, which stimulates it but less directly. As you lick, check in with her: Is this too intense? Do you want it lighter? Or should I bear down more? Check in often until you're confident that you know her preferences. Then check in periodically after that. Preferences change, or she may just be in the mood for something a little different.
Step2
Alternate using the tip of your tongue, the flat of it, and your lips as you move around her vulva. All three feel a little different and provide subtly different sensations.
Step3
Combine licking with finger and palm massage. After circling her vulva with your tongue, do the same with a finger or two, using light, moderate, or deep pressure, as the woman prefers. Use your fingers to gently part her vaginal lips. Massage her inner thighs. Finger around her anus as you provide oral caresses, or gently insert a well-lubricated finger. (Nothing that touches the anal area should touch the vagina or vulva. If it does, the woman may develop a urinary tract infection.)
Step4
Combine oral sex with massage of other parts of her body. Some women enjoy having their breasts caressed while receiving oral. Others enjoy whole body massage. Try slipping a finger or two into her mouth so she can suck them while you re licking her. Or combine oral sex with any sex toy(s) the woman enjoys.
Step5
Keep checking in. Some women who prefer very light licking of the ****oris early in oral sex, need more intensity later on to run up to orgasm.
Step6
Try what s variously known as the little lick trick, quicky licky or snaky licky. Instead of steady tongue pressure on the ****oris or swirling moves around it, you use the tip of your tongue to tease just the underside of the ****oral shaft with light little licks about once every 10 to 15 seconds. This move helps some women who feel highly aroused get over the hump and express orgasm.
Step7
Some women like having their anuses licked (rimming). As long as it s clean, there s nothing dirty about licking that opening as part of oral sex. To ease hygienic concerns, wash or shower together beforehand. Beyond resolving the anal hygiene issue, bathing together is a sensual appetizer to lovemaking.
Step1
Start with the basics. Tell a new lover that you d like to go down on her. Either say something, or kiss her on the way down--her neck, the tops of her breasts, her nipples, her belly, so she gets the idea where you re headed. You might check in saying, I d like to keep going down. It that okay? Move down slowly. Make sure you're in a comfortable position. Lying on the bed on your stomach between the woman s legs might strain your neck. You might slip a pillow under the woman s hips to raise her a bit. Or you might coax her butt to the side of the bed and kneel on the floor to lick her. Don t dive into cunnilingus all at once. Begin slowly--and very gently. Start by nuzzling, kissing, and licking her inner thighs and the area around her vulva. Anticipation of cunnilingus can feel very arousing to women. As you move toward her genitals, begin by licking the fleshy outer lips. Run your tongue up and down them. Nibble them gently with your lips. Next, work your tongue in between the outer lips to caress the smaller, thinner inner lips. Then circle the vaginal opening and perhaps insert your tongue--or a finger or two--lovingly inside her vagina. Approach the ****oris very slowly and gently. Some women enjoy a man s tongue directly on the ****oris. Others find direct ****oral licking too intense, even uncomfortable. They prefer it when the tongue only lightly caresses the ****oris or circles it, which stimulates it but less directly. As you lick, check in with her: Is this too intense? Do you want it lighter? Or should I bear down more? Check in often until you're confident that you know her preferences. Then check in periodically after that. Preferences change, or she may just be in the mood for something a little different.
Step2
Alternate using the tip of your tongue, the flat of it, and your lips as you move around her vulva. All three feel a little different and provide subtly different sensations.
Step3
Combine licking with finger and palm massage. After circling her vulva with your tongue, do the same with a finger or two, using light, moderate, or deep pressure, as the woman prefers. Use your fingers to gently part her vaginal lips. Massage her inner thighs. Finger around her anus as you provide oral caresses, or gently insert a well-lubricated finger. (Nothing that touches the anal area should touch the vagina or vulva. If it does, the woman may develop a urinary tract infection.)
Step4
Combine oral sex with massage of other parts of her body. Some women enjoy having their breasts caressed while receiving oral. Others enjoy whole body massage. Try slipping a finger or two into her mouth so she can suck them while you re licking her. Or combine oral sex with any sex toy(s) the woman enjoys.
Step5
Keep checking in. Some women who prefer very light licking of the ****oris early in oral sex, need more intensity later on to run up to orgasm.
Step6
Try what s variously known as the little lick trick, quicky licky or snaky licky. Instead of steady tongue pressure on the ****oris or swirling moves around it, you use the tip of your tongue to tease just the underside of the ****oral shaft with light little licks about once every 10 to 15 seconds. This move helps some women who feel highly aroused get over the hump and express orgasm.
Step7
Some women like having their anuses licked (rimming). As long as it s clean, there s nothing dirty about licking that opening as part of oral sex. To ease hygienic concerns, wash or shower together beforehand. Beyond resolving the anal hygiene issue, bathing together is a sensual appetizer to lovemaking.
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