Friday, September 12, 2008

How to Acknowledge Paternity

Acknowledging paternity is establishing that you are the father of the child in question. It is important to establish paternity for several reasons including to give an identity to the child, inheritance rights for the child, government and medical benefits for the child, and for child support purposes. Here are a few ways to acknowledge legally binding paternity.


Step1
Sign a written document that says you are the father. Both the mother and the father must sign the document, notarize it, and file it with the court and state vital records office. Some courts have this document preprinted. Ask for the document that acknowledges paternity.


Step2
Establish paternity through a court proceeding. You will be called and the other persons who may be the father will be called. The judge will determine who the father of the child is. If no one shows up, then you have acknowledged paternity through default.


Step3
Marry the woman before the child is born. If a woman is married and then gives birth there is a legal presumption that the husband is the father of the child. Marry the mom before baby is born and you will be the legal father of the child.


Step4
Have paternity acknowledged through genetic testing. If the test comes back with certainty that you are the father, you have acknowledged paternity until you prove otherwise.


Step5
Contact your local district attorney's office or state's department of social services for further information and help with the process. Someone can either tell you step by step instructions to acknowledge paternity or can point you to someone who can.

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Friday, August 29, 2008

How to Accept a Family Member's Spouse

Whether it is your brother's wife, or your daughter's husband, accepting someone into your family takes work. No matter how you feel about the new addition, you must make an effort to accept your family member's spouse and find ways to involve them in your family affairs.



Step1
Have a positive attitude. A positive attitude is contagious, and it puts people at ease.


Step2
Consider their feelings. It is intimidating to be the new person, so make sure you explain family traditions, personal jokes and encourage them to share things with you and your family.


Step3
Find humor in awkward situations. Everyone says or does the wrong thing once in a while, so ease the tension by making a tasteful joke or offering up a story where you were the one who was out of place.


Step4
Engage your new family member in conversation. Include them in family conversations, but also talk to them individually.


Step5
Listen to their likes and dislikes. Conversations about personal feelings are the best way to get to know someone.


Step6
Schedule activities that you can enjoy together. Invite them to the pool, or meet for lunch at their favorite restaurant.


Step7
Be patient. It takes time to create a relaxed atmosphere with a new family member, so give them time to adjust.


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Saturday, August 23, 2008

How to Ask a Girl To Prom

Asking a girl to prom can be a stressful event for a teenage boy. However, if you plan out the whole process in advance, you can avoid a lot of the stress associated with asking a girl to prom. Do not let yourself get too worried or worked up about searching for a date. The worst that can happen is she will say no. And if she does, move on--there are plenty of other fish in the sea.

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Step1
Select the girl you wish to ask to prom. The girl should be someone you know and are friendly with. If you've been on a date with her before, that makes her an even better candidate. However, even if you are just friends, you can still ask her to prom.


Step2
Find out whether she is going with someone else. If you aren't comfortable asking the girl directly, ask a couple of her friends whether they know if the girl in question is attending prom with anybody yet. If she isn't, that's a green light to proceed.


Step3
Talk to the girl who you decided to ask to the prom. Relax and be yourself. Broach the subject of the prom and gauge her reaction. If she seems open to the idea of going but doesn't mention a date, that's a clear signal that you can prepare to ask her to the prom. Even if she doesn't sound too excited about the prom, you can still plan on asking her. Her hesitancy might be associated with a lack of a date for the prom.


Step4
Ask the girl to the prom in an informal setting. You don't have to be on a special date to ask her. However, it's best to ask in person rather than over the phone. Once you have decided to ask her, just do it and get it over with. Ask her simply and directly. Whatever her answer, the stress will be over.


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Sunday, August 17, 2008

How to Ask a Girl Out on a Date

Asking a girl out on a date is one of the hardest things in the world to do for some men, yet it s also one of the things they want to do most. We ll help you relax and take the process one step at a time so that it s more fun (the way it should be) and less of a chore.


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Step1
Introduce yourself or compliment her. There s no reason to use cheesy lines, as most girls will see through them and immediately dismiss you. If you think a woman is pretty, compliment her. If she says something that catches your ear, mention it. Breaking the ice is as easy as letting her know what caught your attention.


Step2
Ask for the girl s telephone number or email address and let her know you'd like to see her again sometime. At this point, you can even set up the date by asking her to accompany you to an event to which you have been invited.


Step3
Call the woman when you have a definite plan and time for the date. Reintroduce yourself and engage in a little conversation before extending the invitation.


Step4
Bring her into the date decision-making process. If you can get her to reveal a movie she d like to see, you can suggest that as the focus of your date. Movies work well because they don t require much conversation, so there are fewer awkward pauses during the date.


Step5
If she says no, ask if there is a scheduling conflict or if she is simply not interested in dating you. Being direct is necessary to avoid having her prolong a charade of interest. Of course, there is no guarantee that being direct will result in a truthful response, but it's better than fudging the issue.


Step6
Be punctual, polite, and most important, be yourself.

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Thursday, August 14, 2008

How to Ask Your Same-Sex Partner to Move in With You

Asking your partner to move in with you can be scary, because botching the job could cause the relationship to suffer. Here's how to ask your partner to move in with you without causing him or her to move on and out of your life.

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Step1
Decide how serious the relationship is - and make sure it's time to take this big step. If it's too soon, your partner may be scared away.


Step2
Drop some hints that you're considering asking the big question, and see how your partner responds. You might try something like: "It seems like I'm always here. I'm not sure why I'm paying rent at my place." See what happens.


Step3
Arrange to spend some days - not just nights - with your partner in your house and see how well you get along. Maybe you aren't even compatible in large doses.


Step4
Consider going on a date to the place where you met your partner or had your first date the day you decide to ask him or her to move in with you. If you haven't been there in a while, your partner just may get the hint that something important is coming.


Step5
Try to make the event of asking the question special. Remember, in many ways it's like asking someone to marry you.


Step6
Stay away from phrases like "I think we should" and say things like, "Would you...?" Focus on making your partner comfortable.


Step7
Make it clear that you don't intend for the move to happen immediately and that you'll allow time to make sure financial and other arrangements are set up in advance.


Step8
Decide what you'll say if your partner says no. Try to reaffirm your commitment to the person even if he or she is not ready for this step.


Step9
Decide what you'll say if your partner would rather have you move in with him or her, instead of moving into your place. You'll need an answer ready.


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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

How to Arrange Quality Child Care

Congratulations! You're expecting a new bundle of joy. Have you got your child care set up yet? Believe it or not, some programs are so popular that parents put their child on a waiting list at conception. Good-quality child care is available in most areas if you're willing to look for it, and there are many options for parents to choose from. Use this primer to find a great fit for your child and your family.

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Step1
Decide when you want to put your child in care. Some parents prefer to keep their kids at home as long as possible and don't enroll them in a program until they are around three years of age. Other parents choose to put their children in a child-care setting much earlier. Still others prefer mixing time at home with time in care. Lifestyle and your child's personality will play a role in this decision--social, active children benefit greatly from the stimulation and activity offered in a structured group environment.


Step2
Ask friends with children, other families and mothers' group members for recommendations. Find out what their experiences have been like. Listen to what excites them and see if your gut tells you the same things would work well for your child. You can also search local parenting Web sites or child-care referral centers, or go to ChildCareAware.org for advice.


Step3
Consider the available options and decide which type of child care best meets your needs.

Home-based care


Step1
Check out family day care in your area. Typically, one licensed adult cares for up to six children in his or her home (the number is determined by state law). These situations tend to offer the most flexibility in scheduling, but you'll need a backup if the care provider becomes ill. Family day care is often a good opportunity to expose your child to another language.


Step2
Give your child the next best thing to Mom or Dad with a nanny. If that's too pricey, sharing a nanny and splitting the cost with one or two other families can make it affordable. Your child will get one-on-one loving care and one or two playmates.

Centers and preschools


Step1
Draw up a short list of potential care providers and contact them. Ask for brochures or visit their Web sites. Find out if there is space available when you need to enroll or if there is a waiting list. Make appointments to visit providers and show up promptly.


Step2
Review the programs offered by various providers in your area. You'll find ones that offer full-time, part-time and flexible schedules. Consider the amount of structure and the location. Look at staff qualifications and turnaround, teacher-to-child ratios, curriculum, accreditation, discipline strategies and more. If you have an infant, you'll want a high caregiver-to-child ratio. Parents with several children may need a provider that caters to both babies and older kids.


Step3
Leave your child at home (if possible) for the first visit so you can focus on learning about the program. Bring a list of questions: What is a typical day like? How are behavioral issues dealt with? Are children divided by age? Does your child have to be pottytrained to gain admission?


Step4
Take a good look at the space. It should be safe, well maintained and cheerful, with separate areas for quiet play and for group activities and plenty of toys. Check the outdoor space. Is there room to run around? Are there climbing structures, a sandbox and lots more toys?


Step5
Observe how the director and teachers interact with the kids. Are they approachable, flexible and respectful? How do the children respond to them? Is there a lively atmosphere that doesn't seem out of control? Do the kids and teachers seem happy?


Step6
Use your instincts as a parent and look for a good fit. Some programs have an extended family feeling, while others are more structured and businesslike. Make sure the program and its philosophy are suited to the temperament of your child. A situation may be great for one child but not for another.


Step7
Review details with the director. Find out what the fees are, what they cover, and how they are paid, including fees for late pickups. Confirm the hours of operation and what days throughout the year that school is closed. Ask how teachers are qualified, what the turnover is, and what the minimum requirements are. Inquire about enrichment programs such as art, music and field trips. Find out if and how often parents are required to volunteer. Ask if there is a board of directors or other parents you can contact for more information. Call them; they're usually happy to talk to prospective parents.


Step8
Take your child for a short visit after you've narrowed down your choices. How does he or she respond to the environment?


Step9
Complete the application process, pay the deposit and set up a plan for entry into the program that will be most effective for your child. Some programs have a well-planned transition both for entering and for moving from one age group to another.


Step10
Build an alliance with all of your child-care providers. Stay in constant communication to keep abreast of how your child is doing.

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Sunday, August 10, 2008

How to Apply for a Loan With Your Same-Sex Partner

Whether it's a car loan, a mortgage or a loan for that new sailboat, applying for a loan with your same-sex partner is not exactly the same as applying for a loan with a husband or wife. Here's how to go about it.



Step1
Know your partner's level of financial responsibility. You don't want your finances intertwined with the finances of someone who can't balance a checkbook.


Step2
Assess the level of commitment between the two of you. The loan's term could be two, three, six or 20 years. Are you confident that you'll still be with the same person throughout the loan term?


Step3
Insist on examining your partner's credit report and make sure it won't keep you from getting the loan or keep you from getting the best rate.


Step4
Discuss the loan with your partner and make sure you are both in agreement about the need for the loan. If you aren't, it could become a source of resentment and even eventually spell the end of your relationship.


Step5
Be up front with the lender about your relationship. If the lender is uncomfortable, consider going elsewhere.


Step6
Ask the lender if the company has experience dealing with same-sex couples. If not, find out why not. If you don't like the answers you get, move on.


http://www.freewebtown.com/howtodothing/relationships-family/2.htm#2

Thursday, August 7, 2008

How to Apply for Welfare

Welfare programs can help individuals and families in times of crisis. The application process is basic, but it requires time and energy.


Step1
Call your local Employment and Human Services office, listed in the government pages of your phone book. (In some places, you will need to look up "Social Services" or just "Human Services.")


Step2
Set an appointment to meet with a case worker and attend an orientation.


Step3
Discuss the various welfare programs with your case worker. Decide which programs you need.


Step4
Ask for emergency assistance if you are homeless.


Step5
Get a list of things you need to gather for the next appointment.


Step6
Apply for any documents or statements you lack.


Step7
Take the appropriate information with you to your appointment. The case worker will let you know if more information is needed.


Step8
Ask for a time frame on the results of your application.


Step9
Call your case worker with questions or concerns.


http://www.freewebtown.com/howtodothing/relationships-family/2.htm#1

Sunday, August 3, 2008

How to Adopt a Child in a Gay/Lesbian Relationship

Although it won't be easy, it's certainly possible for you and your partner to raise a family. In 1999, estimates of the total number of children nationwide living with at least one gay parent ranged from 6 million to 14 million.



Step1
Contact a local organization for lesbian or gay parents. Its members will be best able to provide relevant information for your particular region, including what is possible and what has been done in the past.


Step2
Consider your options: adoption through a public or private agency, adoption through an intermediary mother and adoption through an international agency. See "How to Legally Adopt a Foreign Child" for this final option.


Step3
Research public and private adoption agencies thoroughly before making your selection. The general procedure involves an interview of the prospective parents by the agency, who then recommends specific couples to the court. Disclosing your sexual preference is unnecessary and might decrease your chances of being selected.


Step4
Alternatively, enlist the aid of an individual intermediary to help you locate a child in states where this is legal. Know that in many states it is illegal to advertise for an adoption.


Step5
Obtain the consent of the child's biological mother and father once you or your intermediary locate a child. Biological parents must sign a consent-to-adopt form, legally forfeiting parental rights. An adoption proceeding is then filed in court. Consider registering simply as two parents to circumvent the traditional mother/father parental roles.

http://www.freewebtown.com/6-30/h/o/howtodothing/relationships-family/1.htm#2

Thursday, July 31, 2008

How to (Literally) Put the Fireworks Back Into Your Love Life

If you re like most people, when you saw the title of this article you thought, Oh, no, not another sissified piece about ways to spice up your marriage! Pay heed, though, to the word literally, because what follows are some completely non-metaphorical ways to toss small-scale ordnance into your floundering relationship. (Note: Don t really do any of this stuff. In fact, don t even THINK about doing any of this stuff.)

Step1
Sparklers. Despite what you may have seen on late-night cable movies set in Las Vegas, there are at least a few PG-rated ways to employ these scintillating whatsits. Gals: Plunk one into an enticing chocolate-rum cake, like a candle, or use it as an enticing beacon in a darkened bedroom. Guys: Try impressing the love of your life by juggling three or four at the same time, being sure to clear all pets, children and flammable materials out of the room first.


Step2
Cherry bombs. Everyone knows there s only one use for cherry bombs, and that s to blow up toilets. Since the last thing your teetering romance needs is a big plumbing bill, book a three-day getaway at a small hotel or bed and breakfast (if you feel guilty about it, choose one that s not very well reviewed), then proceed on your mischief-making way. Remember: Nothing beats acting like spoiled 13-year-olds to add some romantic oomph to a pair of dreary, middle-aged lives.


Step3
Roman candles. Don t try this one anywhere near the house. Camp out with your beloved in a nearby field or public park, then set up a circle of these beauties (six or eight should do the trick) in a 100-yard-diameter circle. (Make sure no one else nearby has the same idea, because you don t want the circles to overlap, resulting in a roman candle up the you-know-what.) Do what comes naturally, then, as you bask in the afterglow, set off the display and rub your romantic ardor in the face of the entire county.


Step4
Firecrackers. Sometimes, simplest is best. Here s how it works: Early in the morning, you and your mate each grab a handful of standard-issue firecrackers. In the course of the day, anytime either of you does anything the slightest bit annoying, light one of these suckers up and casually toss it his or her way. He s slurping his coffee too loud? BANG! She s nattering on about her weight? BANG! With any luck, by nightfall, the two of you will be so frazzled that you ll have to arrange some quiet time together to settle your nerves.


Step5
Dynamite. This one is only recommended if your relationship is in an advanced state of decay. On the premise that a fiery disaster will unite two otherwise bickering people in the face of adversity, a big smoking hole in the ground where your country cottage used to be ought to do the trick just fine. Just be careful not to accidentally forget that your significant other is still inside rounding up the cats and looking for the insurance documents.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

How to Get Creative Giving Oral Sex to a Woman

Cunnilingus is among the most intimate sexual experiences two people can enjoy together, says sex therapist Louanne Weston, Ph.D. For some women, it s the source of their most intense orgasms." Explore some of the following techniques it may help you become a better lover.

Step1
Start with the basics. Tell a new lover that you d like to go down on her. Either say something, or kiss her on the way down--her neck, the tops of her breasts, her nipples, her belly, so she gets the idea where you re headed. You might check in saying, I d like to keep going down. It that okay? Move down slowly. Make sure you're in a comfortable position. Lying on the bed on your stomach between the woman s legs might strain your neck. You might slip a pillow under the woman s hips to raise her a bit. Or you might coax her butt to the side of the bed and kneel on the floor to lick her. Don t dive into cunnilingus all at once. Begin slowly--and very gently. Start by nuzzling, kissing, and licking her inner thighs and the area around her vulva. Anticipation of cunnilingus can feel very arousing to women. As you move toward her genitals, begin by licking the fleshy outer lips. Run your tongue up and down them. Nibble them gently with your lips. Next, work your tongue in between the outer lips to caress the smaller, thinner inner lips. Then circle the vaginal opening and perhaps insert your tongue--or a finger or two--lovingly inside her vagina. Approach the ****oris very slowly and gently. Some women enjoy a man s tongue directly on the ****oris. Others find direct ****oral licking too intense, even uncomfortable. They prefer it when the tongue only lightly caresses the ****oris or circles it, which stimulates it but less directly. As you lick, check in with her: Is this too intense? Do you want it lighter? Or should I bear down more? Check in often until you're confident that you know her preferences. Then check in periodically after that. Preferences change, or she may just be in the mood for something a little different.


Step2
Alternate using the tip of your tongue, the flat of it, and your lips as you move around her vulva. All three feel a little different and provide subtly different sensations.


Step3
Combine licking with finger and palm massage. After circling her vulva with your tongue, do the same with a finger or two, using light, moderate, or deep pressure, as the woman prefers. Use your fingers to gently part her vaginal lips. Massage her inner thighs. Finger around her anus as you provide oral caresses, or gently insert a well-lubricated finger. (Nothing that touches the anal area should touch the vagina or vulva. If it does, the woman may develop a urinary tract infection.)


Step4
Combine oral sex with massage of other parts of her body. Some women enjoy having their breasts caressed while receiving oral. Others enjoy whole body massage. Try slipping a finger or two into her mouth so she can suck them while you re licking her. Or combine oral sex with any sex toy(s) the woman enjoys.


Step5
Keep checking in. Some women who prefer very light licking of the ****oris early in oral sex, need more intensity later on to run up to orgasm.


Step6
Try what s variously known as the little lick trick, quicky licky or snaky licky. Instead of steady tongue pressure on the ****oris or swirling moves around it, you use the tip of your tongue to tease just the underside of the ****oral shaft with light little licks about once every 10 to 15 seconds. This move helps some women who feel highly aroused get over the hump and express orgasm.


Step7
Some women like having their anuses licked (rimming). As long as it s clean, there s nothing dirty about licking that opening as part of oral sex. To ease hygienic concerns, wash or shower together beforehand. Beyond resolving the anal hygiene issue, bathing together is a sensual appetizer to lovemaking.